Inside out

I remember watching the Disney Pixar movie Inside out with my kids trying to decide which one of the emotions I liked best. Joy being way too happy for me and to be honest a little obnoxious. She was always correcting and contradicting the other emotions, Sadness especially. Joy went through great lengths to ensure that Riley would only retain happy memories as though those memories were what made life complete. It was so great that Disney was able to create a film that touched on emotions and the role they play in ones mental well being. The best part was that it involved a child navigating through those very emotions. There was no princess being saved by a prince. Riley was saved by her imaginary friend, Bing Bong. Apparently that scene in the movie signified the end of childhood for Riley. Thinking about it now as I go through this healing journey the layers of that scene touch on a deeper level (at least from my perspective). I see Bing Bong as another version of Riley much like ones inner child. In the movie we also see the emotions of both her parents and how the emotions that lead them are the emotions they had to learn to balance in order to provide a safe space for Riley. Which for me symbolizes generational trauma and how important it is to heal your inner child so as to not pass on that trauma to the next generation. Bing Bong is symbolic of the inner work of her parents which ultimately encourages her to acknowledge her own sadness and share it with her parents.

Who would have thought that a Disney movie would turn out to be like a therapy session.

In relation to my own healing journey, my Bing Bong is also a version of myself. The one that was living in survival mode, pleasing everyone else except for me. Allowing Joy to overpower all the emotions until I could no longer recognize myself. Inside I was emotionally unbalanced. When Joy and Bing Bong get trapped in the pit of lost memories that pit was me in a coma sitting between spiritual planes neither alive or dead , neither here nor there. The wagon turned rocket-ship was hope and prayers. Bing Bong sacrificing himself so that Joy could return to Riley was the old Ria letting go of the weight of the past to make space for a new version of myself. I needed to acknowledge the sadness and the pain in order to appreciate what's in front of me and live in the moment and begin healing.

Our emotions do not define us but they enable us to understand ourselves on a deeper level but in order to do this, one needs to acknowledge every emotion even the ones we try to hide from ourselves; our shadow-self.

Psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung who founded analytical psychology explains that our shadow-selves are the unconscious parts of ourselves that we either repress or choose not to acknowledge.

My interpretation is that Shadow-work requires one to be vulnerable and honest with ourselves. These are the parts of ourselves that we don't like thus keeping it hidden from everyone including ourselves is much easier to endure. However, ignoring it is far more detrimental. It will prevent you from developing a greater sense of self which will carry on to our future relationships. Accepting the dark parts of ourselves is what brings to light all the beautiful parts of ourselves. We accept ourselves as perfectly imperfect beings. Accepting our true authentic selves, the layers and complexities that make us who we are enables us to grasp our true purpose. Think about it as a water filter; only people that truly want to be part of your world will make the effort to reach the deepest layers of "you". Everyone else will only see you as far as they can see themselves. True connections require work and not everybody wants to invest their time and that's their perogative. I've been through my share of fair weather friends. I've learned to express gratitude for these friendships and have accepted that I've also outgrown them and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just as we evolve, those around us will either do the same or will choose to settle with the cards they are dealt. With that being said we can't navigate through life expecting more from others than ourselves. Eventually that gap will widen and we are confronted with the decision to either grow with them or be forced to accept that inevitably they will leave us behind.

Being the person choosing to grow will also come with growing pains. Leaving behind what once was, or the relationships that ended up being less than what you perceived; hurts deeply. Not only has that "friendship" ended but a part of your ego dies with that relationship. The idea that you were able to put your guard down and be vulnerable with another person only to have been fooled, is a painful lesson but an essential one. At the end of the day no matter how much we want retribution it will never heal the pain if we don't give ourself permission to heal. The only person other than God that will care enough to save you is...You. You are your Bing Bong!

Having the courage to face the darkness and the sadness is the first step towards fully and completely appreciating the light of the moon. That even in the night sky the moon conspires with the stars and overpowers the darkness.

"Take her to the moon for me" -Bing Bong (Inside out)